Oh, no! WordPress.com did not just sent me that as my next challenge troday! Are they crazy? Where did they knock their heads? You, stop grinning away…I said to stop it…[Looks at you with warning eyes] You know what that challenge mean don’t you? I got to, not tell you the person’s name, but describe to you who they are. I can see you edging on your seats already and pulling your smartphones closer to ensure you don’t miss out anything. I think I should disappoint you and talk about an idea or something else other than…okay, okay, y’all go easy with me I’m giving into the pressures.
Whew! Y’all are violent!
Reflecting on the topic for today’s challenge I’m having a difficulty choosing which one to choose! So here is the deal, because I can’t put my finger on which on to choose I’m going to tell it all! I’m feeling dizzy, my heart is racing like the horses in English Horse Racing.
I’m going way down in the annals of history, and when I say way down I mean as far as six years ago when I was only in Lower Sixth Form at Ardenne High. It was my third time like-liking someone and ended up being my second time attempting a relationship. I was National Public Relations Officer (PRO) for the National Secondary Student Council (NSSC), which is a group representing students and student councils bodies across Jamaica that gain legitimacy by an Act of Parliament 1986. In my capacity as NSSC PRO I was often called up on to do several things, this particular day I had organise students from across the Corporate Area to meet at the Ministry of Health Headquarters on King Street to evaluate its STIs & HIV/AIDS Campaign Strategies by the USAID-sponsored JA-STYLE (Jamaica Solution to Youth Lifestyle & Empowerment) project.
The day before the meeting with the JA-STYLE reps I was given a list of persons with phone numbers to call and remind them about the individual, I dial everyone and I spoke with all…BUT there was just one person who’s voice captured my attention. That person was also a little bit iffy about, and because of the voice I told myself I wanted to see them in person. They came the meeting and from that meeting we all were invited to a drama serial workshop to be trained in the Miguel Sabido Methodology, which was accepted by all.
I had seen who I had heard on the phone and I liked who and what I saw. But am a shy dude so you won’t find me taking any gamble. Anyway we ended up getting close, closer and more closer eventually over our training period. We professed our liking for each other, we even started going Maths extra lesson for CSEC (Caribbean Secondary Examination Council), commonly refer to as CXC or Caribbean Examination Council, even though I was in Sixth Form.
Let’s put it that I was doing Maths again. The discussion of sex came up, perhaps I think it was fast, but I was inexperience in that department and as such it was an awkward thing which I tried to avoid. And which perhaps cost me this cool completion, nice personality, matured and experienced person; not long after I was being told we needed time off. Following this they migrated without telling me and I was most hurt…they had gotten away ripping my heart with them. No more would they have been the late night chats, the illegal calls and text during school time and other moments.
First Year at University
First Year at University proved a different experience, even though something similar happen. I like two persons, one was my immediate senior, in that they were a year ahead of me, and the other came in the said year I did. However, I had eyes more for the senior who was Barbadian by nationality, brown, very involved in activities on hall, average height, a conversationalist, respectful, well-mannered, and was fairly easy going.
Being the shy person I’m, I observed, admire, befriended and all possible things I could from a distant for my bajan babe. As it became closer and closer to the end of the academic year I said I had to intensified or at least say “I like you” or something. I wanted to say this more when we were doing this activity on hall and I was lucky to have as my guest in my room…you’re right changing. Following this I did some MSN Stalking, while covering my identity, but when I finally reveal my identity it was too late and my beloved crush was out of the country.
My junior, who I had previously confessed to liking and had told me they saw me as a brother, jeered me. But because I loved them I never felt bad; I guess we’ve grown to have that kind of sibling love.
My final year living on hall was perhaps the most fiery. I had imagine get down with all of three persons; come to think of it some friends of mine would say they known me better than that and it was more ‘imagine’ but that I was ‘fantasising’. Yeah, I guess they might be right about all three, especially since I had stripe all three and do what I had want! And no I’m not committing imagination/fantasy infidelity. Three different characters, three different personality, three different skin tone, occupation…all with one thing in common they were older than I was. I seem to like older persons as my good friend Jhanell Graham would say; so don’t be surprise that I like maturity.
Now I was drawn to all three for different season: one had an entire package and would often subtle (or I thought) flirt with me; one I was exactly sure, I guess sex-deprivation got the most of me; and the final, I was admiring from an event I had went to two years before. The one I subtle flirt with was just too hard a nut to crack, I had invited them out several times and they just wrap me around the finger and eventual turn me down. I just couldn’t learn, even though I said I would never do it again, and then they initiate flirting again. It was a good medicine for the heart and so I play along until they eventual left to complete their Masters.
The second, I laugh every time I think about it, because I still can’t see how this one unfold. It all happen while I was in my last semester living on hall and perhaps following a dream I had of making out with…yeah you got that right. From that dream I had a new target. Yeah, my skin was on fire with curiosity. I wanted to know if all of what my sexually excited dream had reveal to me was what was there. So you know I wanted to see, feel, touch and stripped my target. It took a while before it came around and when it did, damn! Damn, damn!!
Let’s say I got a little overpower, and for me nothing is wrong with that, in fact I find it flirtatious. Losing complete control isn’t my thing and I got to strip, feel, see, but not to have sex has I refuse to engage in intercourse without proper protection and that was the last. The final one I have been admiring from an event I had attended in 2007 really got away when I later discovered a friend of mine had been with and that at the time I was acting on my feeling was courting someone else. Back off was exactly what I did, and am still doing that even though I was asked in a recent phone conversation “why weren’t we together”. Should I pursue?
Now, I go by the title “eternally single” because they all usually “get away” as the WordPress.com Challenge would put it. While I have already initiate conversation to break the “eternally single” bond distance seem to be getting its way. Its okay being single, even though I get pretty annoyed with relatives asking me almost every chance they get, “who are you seeing”.
So that’s how they all got away…
Here are some quotes to end with:
“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” – Jim Rohn, (American Speaker and Author. He is famous for motivational audio programs for Business and Life.)
“Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.” –Jonathan Larson
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” — Alexander Graham Bell quotes (Scottish born American Inventor and Educator, best known for the invention of the telephone in 1876. 1847-1922)
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